9.06.2007

HEADLINES FOR THIS WEEK

front page:
CHRISTIAN UNCOMFORTABLE WITH LIFTING HANDS DURING CHAPEL IS ONLY ONE LEFT CLAPPING

local:
STREET WITNESS OUTING ENDS IN STUDENTS CONVERSION TO ISLAM

politics:
HOSTESS RELEASES "OBAMA CAKES' IN ATTEMPT TO MATCH SUCCESS OF "DOLE BANANAS" AND KERRY/"HEINZ KETCHUP"

health:

FRESHMEN WITH BLOODY NOSE SEARCHES FOR SCHOOL NURSE

student life:

STUDENT ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE CHANGES NAME TO "COLLEGIATE OFFICERS CONTROLLING THE COMMOTION" IN EFFORT TO AVOID 'SACK' JOKES

technology:
GOOGLE SEARCH FOR RESEARCH ON 'TROUBLED TEENS' MORE RISKY THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT

opinion:
'I THINK MY ROOMMATE MIGHT BE GAY, BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO BE SURE..." - JAKE SHIMETT

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